Mothers are always judging other mothers on EVERYTHING!

I just can’t even…….

I ran across a post about c-sections moms and how they didn’t really give birth.

I just can’t believe people in this world! What in the heck are people thinking? 

I have judged, GUILTY! BUT I usually try to talk myself out of the judgement! The mothers group we are in sets us up for a lot of judgement passed our way. We judge each other on absolutely everything…..birth, breast or bottle, type of bottles used, strollers, car seats, blankets in the crib, taking out in public, the list goes on and on. I have been told that I haven’t experienced “real birth” and that I haven’t had “real contractions”. Were you there? Did you know my contraction levels? I had different pain from you that you didn’t have as well. Oh and because my baby came out of the light from my belly hole and not the light from my hoo-ha hole doesn’t mean he wasn’t “born”. Being born is the moment you see the light, feel the air, hear the noises, and take your first breath. Right?!?!

I had THREE C-Sections and that doesn’t make me any less of a woman than you! While we are on topic I didn’t breastfeed either (insert shock face here). There are a lot of reasons why I didn’t and I don’t have to explain all of my reasons to anyone neither do you on why you did or didn’t!  I HAD to have my c-sections they weren’t chosen. I use to think oh a c-section would be nice to not have contractions and THEN I HAD ONE! I have spoken to numerous women who have had vaginal and section deliveries both and they say each time they would much rather have a traditional birth but of course that can’t always happen. I pretty much knew I was going to end up with a c-section. My grandmother had issues with babies and delivery, my mom is the only survivor. My mom had to have three sections as well. I had a doctor tell me before I was pregnant that I was small and would probably have issues. I was induced with Beck because my BP was sky-high, lots of water retention, and I had preclampsia there was no choice. Thank goodness for Russell mentioning my legs to the doctor. I was contracting but Beck’s heart rate kept dropping dramatically. They tried to turn him (very unpleasant) and were worried he had the umbilical cord around his neck. When your doctor is saying you and the baby need this section and you pretty much knew this beforehand you go with it. I was on oxygen and was having to lay at the perfect angle to take pressure off of him. Which happened with Noah as well. When my doctor opened me up he investigated everything. I have big thick bones (thanks dad) and my spine is curved. There was no way the baby would have been able to get through and be healthy. Isn’t that the goal? To keep mom and baby safe.

I was in labor THREE times and had THREE SECTIONS. I can handle pain. Nurses have asked me before was I not feeling the contractions that I should be more in pain. I think because I had a lot of back pain with Beck and my lower back always hurt a lot growing up so I could handle it more. Noah I had more stomach pain and Grey I had both of but more stomach. I have had bad contractions before so bad that the needle going in my back for surgery (spinal block) actually felt good – yes you heard me GOOD!I remember him trying to catch me between contractions so that I could relax enough to do it and all I could think was man who felt good as he was inserting it. Then about 1 minute later I was numb, ha!  I stop taking meds when I leave the hospital and even have stopped taking at the hospital before. I have walked after every surgery as soon as I can and am allowed to. When I strolled in the last time my doctor said get everything ready this girl can handle pain and this is real. People have the misconception about c-sections… that we are weak, chose it, it is easy, and so forth.  I still have a lot of the same issues as a women who had a vaginal delivery but on top of it I had a major surgery to recover from as well. So I shouldn’t be judged for having a surgery to keep me and my baby healthy.

Why as moms do we judge other moms so much? Well she isn’t a real woman/mother because she isn’t breastfeeding, she had a c-section, she has a sitter to help her, she is on a happy pill…blah blah blah. Well maybe she was going to harm her baby if she didn’t have the section, maybe she couldn’t produce milk, maybe she has so much on her plate she needs help, maybe she is dealing with postpartum and needs something to help her so she doesn’t harm herself or her baby. Maybe she is doing the absolute best she can so lay the hell off of her! She has enough in her life without you judging her because you are “perfect”.  Instead of judging her empower her!

None of us took the easy way out vaginal or section. We both just had different birth experiences and that is okay. No need to judge either way!

Once again don’t judge. You don’t know the reason for the section, the reason for not breastfeeding, the reason for anything…and if you do know the reason.. so what ….it is none of your damn business!

thanks and funny-pictues-c-section.jpg for the images


One thought on “Mothers are always judging other mothers on EVERYTHING!

  1. What makes people think this way? It doesn’t matter HOW the baby was born. The miracle is in the fact that the baby WAS born. Don’t let anyone try to take away the miracle of childbirth from you!!

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