I wish I knew what I know now! Oh Rod I think we all wish that at least a little!

Do you ever think back and wonder I wish I knew what I know now???  I think a large portion of us are like HELL YEAH! ha   If only I knew…oh how my life might be a little different – not much  but a few things I would probably change.

When I think about this I realized I wouldn’t change a whole lot. I mean if I knew then what I know now most of it would deal with guys. ha The teenage me would say he sucks – I mean really sucks Rivers. Why on earth would you date such a loser?(I think we are all attracted to the bad boys or bad girls growing up.)Which now that I look back I was telling myself this the whole time I just didn’t listen. I would tell the me that is worried about boys to chill and just have fun with the girls (which I did but boys were always on the brain- which is any kid at that age) because none of them even really mattered….Russell would soon be on his way.  I eventually listened because when I got to college Russell and I started dating  AND I made sure I had my girls nights and he just let me be – kindly waiting on me to have fun and meet up with me later when I was ready. I would tell the old me to study just a little harder and pay attention a little more in class. Practice basketball, cheer, and softball a touch more. I would teach myself about healthy eating and exercise/yoga! I would only worry with myself and stop focusing on what everybody else is doing.  That is basically it – I might take back of few embarrassing moments but I really can’t remember any that are that terrible….. okay maybe I would take back the track meet where several boys were lined up around the track watching me run and hollering at me saying I had nice boobs….or maybe I wouldn’t because after that the girls were in a fortress from then on and it has actually helped them age! I wanted a new car in high school or really not even new just a cool used car but that wasn’t happening. I had a Pontiac 6000 it was my parents, then Gavin’s, and then Grant’s. That car had been in wrecks, mud holes, duck and deer hunting, and everywhere in between. My middle brother punched a hole in the dash one night so that was there and he had a wreck and every time I opened by door it screeched. Then I locked my keys in the car and dad came and just knocked out the lock..a big hole in the side of my car…yep I know. So from then on I had to climb in from the back seat or the right side to get in my car. Eventually I got hit from behind by an 18 wheeler truck – that was the end of that car. Did my parents sue and get me a new car..no because that’s my parents good kindhearted people.  So my brother got a truck that year and I got his bronco. The bronco had issues because long story the 4 wheel drive got hit on the interstate and from then on it was screwed up. It would only go 45 mph and ran hot. So I would have to get out, let the engine cool, take a towel twist off the top and add water – I always had jugs of water in the back. My dad loved that I couldn’t go faster than 45 mph.. on the other hand I could’ve died. I wrecked it the night before Junior prom- we had a junior party it was raining and were playing mud football, when we left my car slid off in a tractor ditch and got stuck. All the guys tried to pull me out and bent my bumper. Dad had to come and get it out – the bronco has not worked since. SOO daddy got mad and I didn’t have a car for awhile. Then he came home with an $800 dollar car – no radio, no heat, no air…..yep it was HELL! I drove it forever but one July I had had it. Heat in the delta in July and August is just horrific. I went crazy on him at my aunt’s house on 4th of July. haha Heat plus teenage hormones doesn’t go together. SO my grandparents felt sorry for me and gave me their old topaz – they were getting a new car. YAY I got my grandparents car..lol I was so happy to be out of the $800 dollar car that I just couldn’t stand it! Well the muffler was dragging one day and daddy “fixed it” by ripping off my muffler. SOOO then my car sounded like a freaking freight train…I begin to think I would never have a normal car….but then my parents finally got me a new one! Not exactly what I wanted but I was grateful! Would I go back and change my cars if I could – no! If I knew what I know now….I would’ve kept on driving them with no worries. Driving those cars taught me to be grateful and gracious for what I had. It taught me life isn’t about material things and people are going to like if they like you no matter what car you drive, house you live in, what you wear and so forth. Now I look back I have lots of great stories and great memories because of those old cars. Now that I have kids I won’t get them new cars either.  They need to learn to appreciate, it keeps them from thinking so much of themselves, and plus with all the wrecks and so forth it’s just better to get a totally banged up one. With all my wrecks it was a smart idea – well I only had 3 but they were major – the 18 wheeler hit me going 50 and I was stopped. I hit a car from behind going 60 and he was stopped (I was driving another girls car this equals not a good thing) and then I was hit by a train (in my self-defense someone else was driving in their car – I was just the front seat passenger…now that I think about it I sure have used a lot of my 9 lives…I better be careful) enough on the cars Rivers – SORRY I shall continue on with my whole spill –

 I could tell myself all these things BUT that is how I became the person I am today.

I made mistakes and learned along the way so if I changed all of it would I have missed out? IF I wouldn’t have dated the guys I did I wouldn’t have realized how good Russell was…so maybe I don’t want to make any changes. I look back and never have any full on horrible regrets I wish I could change. I wasn’t the floozy everyone (let me rephrase the guys- the guys) wanted me to be – even my science teacher in high school told me how to keep my boyfriends – yep, you just need to get in the backseat with them…..UMMMM THANKS??!?!?!?! ha no I’m good thanks though! I didn’t want to keep my boyfriends that bad. I wasn’t the smartest girl in the world but I was intelligent. I wasn’t the best sports player but I tried and wasn’t terrible.  Would I change any of this – Nope! Like I said I am glad I went through all that I went through because if I hadn’t would I be a different women today? Probably and I don’t want to be any other women. I like myself just the way I am!

I look back and I think making dumb mistakes is part of growing up and becoming who you are. I drank in high school – yep and my mom caught me the first night! As soon as I came home she said have you been drinking? Oh no mam. Are you sure? yes mam. You didn’t even have 1 mikes hard lemonade?? AGHHHH YES YES I DID – HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU KNOW?!?!?! She always knew …that is what happens when you have a high school teacher for a mom. I wasn’t an angel. I kept her pretty up-to-date about my life and what I was doing.  Would I change anything? Maybe not to be so naive..but then again naive is apart of young age. Get burned enough and then you know! Anything else? ummm yes maybe just a few tiny things ..but would I take back dating the 3 college guys in high school at once (let me clarify before I seem like a huge slut- 3 guys, 3 different colleges, couldn’t make up my mind- none of them were THE ONE so I just dated them all)  – nope! Ha I had fun waiting on Russell to come around. I learned from dating those guys and they made me understand just how special Russell was.  Things in life happen for a reason whether we like them or not. These experiences are what make us who we are and I like who I am!

What all would you change if you could?

Russell and I back in the college days!

Russell and I back in the college days!

Ooh La La by Rod Stewart

Poor old Granddad I laughed at all his words
I thought he was a bitter man
He spoke of women’s ways
They’ll trap you, then they use you before you even know
For love is blind and you’re far too kind
Don’t ever let it show

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger.
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger.

The can-can such a pretty show
Will steal your heart away
But backstage back on earth again
The dressing rooms are grey
They come on strong and it ain’t too long
For they make you feel a man
But love is blind and you soon will find
You’re just a boy again

When you want her lips, you get her cheek
Makes you wonder where you are
If you want some more then she’s fast asleep
you’re just twinkling with the stars.

Poor young grandson, there’s nothing I can say
You’ll have to learn, just like me
And that’s the hardest way, ooh la la
Ooh la la, la la, yeah

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger.
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger.

Lyrics from azlyrics.com

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