Why don’t we take care of ourselves? I am serious! Why don’t we?? We abuse our bodies everyday all day! We wouldn’t let our kids or parents eat unhealthy 24/7 and not exercise so why do we let ourselves? We wouldn’t let our kids beat themselves up mentally so why do we? We wouldn’t let our parents give up on life so easily so why do we? We rush around eating crap food, don’t exercise, don’t meditate, never relax…we are just uptight crazy people. We run ourselves ragged. Why do we not take care of ourselves?
I am the only girl and the baby of the family so everyone has always taken care of me BUT I have always taken care of everyone else as well. I always make sure everyone around me is happy and healthy. I am the last child so I am the peacemaker. I like to please everyone. I just recently saw the shining light and realized this. For years my mom has stressed taking care of myself because “no-one else is going to do it” but she is right. Nobody can make me eat right, exercise, meditate, mentally be strong, etc.. My husband does take care of me financially, gives me an hour if I need to exercise without griping, motivates me, and he gets pedicures, manicures, and massages and gift cards to my favorite store. He knows that a lot of times I won’t pamper myself so he comes in every once in a while with something to spoil me since I usually don’t spoil myself. BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. I HAVE to be the one to make myself eat healthy, exercise, be joyful, and so forth! I have to tell myself not to beat myself up and I did the best I could. I have to be the one say NO every once in a while and it’s okay! I have to pamper myself on occasion, I can’t wait for someone else to do it.
Growing up my mom and dad had to struggle some financially just because my mom was a teacher and my dad was a contractor. We went to private schools, played multiple sports, attended college, and so forth and having 3 kids doing all these things can get pretty expensive. She never got to spoil herself and really neither did my dad. I remember dad saying one time to my middle brother who was a bit of a rebel “Look at your mom, she looks like crap, she wears these clothes so you can wear your nice ones….and he went on” to this my mom looked down at herself and later told me she thought “Well damn, I guess I look like shit” haha It’s funny when she says it but it was the truth and dad didn’t mean it ugly he was trying to open the rebels eyes. They did everything they could so that we got the best. Now I didn’t drive a Mercedes and stuff like that, haha hardly. I drove a Pontiac 6000 that was my parents, then my oldest brothers, then my middle brothers, and thennnnn mine. Yep, you guessed it worn out. We shopped very thrifty, got cute clothes for cheap prices, so I wasn’t Alicia Silverstone in Clueless spoiled.
Mom NEVER took time for herself to go to the gym (of course the gym wasn’t as big of a deal as it is today) she never got a massage, never got her hair done, she sacrificed herself for us. My dad did as well. I am eternally grateful to them for their act of unselfishness but I also hate they couldn’t take care of themselves more. Mom didn’t take care of herself so she is more worn down physically. She told me she wants me to make myself a priority because she didn’t make herself one. She didn’t understand how important it was to take care of herself, until now.
I understand her life now to a certain point. I would wear crappier clothes so my boys could have better, be better, do better. I would eat unhealthy food so my boys would have healthy food. I would sacrifice myself for them….but right now I don’t have to so why do I? I am not rich by any means but I am not so poor that I have to watch what I spend at the grocery store. Either way I look into both of our lives and see that there is no excuse for not taking care of ourselves. Whether I am rich or poor doesn’t matter. You can always take care of yourself. I may not can afford to go to a gym but I can always exercise in my home or outside! I may not can afford a babysitter but I can swap with other moms who need free time as well or I can split time with my husband. Time? You don’t have time – wake up early or do it after kids are in bed. I was up at 5:00 am to get my barre workout in at home, Noah woke up at 5:30 so I gave him his milk, sat him in the chair, and he watched me finish up while he was waking up. No excuses. I take a bath and read in that bath every night! That is my quiet time that right there is another way to take care of myself. I try to make sure I am in bed before 10:30, some nights it is later. I let a lot of things go – the dishes, laundry, cleaning the car, etc… are all put on the back burner. Why? Because I am taking care of myself. I can’t be super women and do it all, I just can’t and I have accepted that. The dishes can wait because my bath and book can’t!
Taking care of yourself is something that shouldn’t be ignored. You are only hurting yourself and your family in the long run. It is okay to take a little time for yourself once a day, it is okay to go exercise, etc… your kids will be okay for one hour and if your fear they won’t then take that time for yourself once they are asleep. Don’t fill this wonderful time with junk tv do something great for yourself. Truly take care of yourself, not fill your mind with mindless crap. Read a good book, meditate, give yourself a facial, have a glass of wine or tea while listening to the quiet. These all will make you a better and happier person.
I see this because my mom opened my eyes to it. She made sure I realized how important it is to take care of yourself. In the past year I finally understand that. If I want to be around and live a long HAPPY life then I need to make myself a priority as well and not let myself go. I wouldn’t let the rest of my family so why should I let me? Learn to focus on yourself as well. Take a little time for you, pamper yourself, whatever it is that you need go do it. We all need a little pampering. If you are reading this and think to yourself that is my husband, wife, daughter, mother, etc…then help them! Help them pamper themselves! Give them an hour of quiet time to exercise, read, relax! Help them take care of themselves and in return they will help you take care of yourself.